It has been a difficult decision. I have to take steps to disappear in fear of repercussions. It's crazy that I have been a part of the deviantART community since I was 11/12. This account is 6.5 years old. It's going to be difficult, but I must do this.
I don't think it will be an entirely intelligent decision to fully disclose my reasoning as well as all the factors in my life right now.
I will give some updates.
I am in love, and it is amazing.
I have been working on watercolor in some downtime. Reading books.
Got a 4.0 last semester with an overall GPA of 3.62. Still a Psych major, but now a philosophy minor.
I'm debating my life decisions daily. I am studying for the MCAT and I take that in less than two weeks. If all goes well, I'll be applying to medical school. If not, well, I have no idea what I'll be doing.
I am in an abusive household. My father and I are no contact for three years. My mom is manipulating, controlling, and disrespectful to my person. I cannot handle having her in my life. Through the last few years of my life (specifically the last year) I have realized that my parents were generally abusive and hateful. I have never been allowed to be my own person down to the way I pluck my eyebrows (or don't). I have only a year of undergrad, and I'm hoping I can survive without any chaos, but things may take a turn for the worse. I can't handle being bullied and belittled by my own mother. Each phone call I have to make I am buckled down with fear and nausea. It is killing me to have to force myself into these situations.
I am attempting to get a job, and save as much money as I possibly can in order to get away. I will be leaving my whole family behind, and that is one of the most difficult decisions I will ever have to make. I know my parents do not love me. They never did, and they never will.
As for art, I don't do it much anymore. I don't have time.
I'm telling you this (if anyone even bothers to read this) because I want to thank you all for the memories I've had on here. This was my outlet. This was my freedom from the prison at my home. I wasn't allowed to have friends in real life. I wasn't allowed to leave the house. You deserve to know why I am leaving. You were all very kind to me, and you helped shape me into the human I am.
I cannot keep this up for very long, but I will be going through my artwork and deleting them as well as my journals over the next week. I had originally planned on only leaving this up for a day, but I need time to manually sift through all of my posts on here, and I would like to give you all time to contact me if necessary. If you would like to keep in contact with me, please send me a message, and we can work something out. I know I didn't do everything right on this website, and if I ever did anything wrong, I am sorry. I truly appreciate all of you and your support over the years.
Honestly I overshared so much of my life on here, and I'm glad you all could be a part of it, but it's time for me and my story to go. Who knows, I may write a book, and you can read about it then.